The National Enquirer
LOHAN SPOTTED IN SWEDISH SECONDHAND STORE
A 20-year-old American girl who is visiting Sweden for the summer was seen shopping in a Salvation Army store, Myrona, outside town. At about one p.m. the girl, who uses the pseudonym 'Sara Young' but is probably Lindsay Lohan or another celebrity in disguise, was seen purchasing a sweater, a T shirt, a tablecloth, and a curtain. She was accompanied by an unidentified, slender Swedish-speaking young girl believed to be Lohan's bodyguard, Tougho Macallister, also in disguise. Macallister was seen purchasing several dozen cases of Slim-Fast the week before 'Sara Young' descended upon Sweden.
"She was so sweet," gushed a salesclerk. "She was absolutely thrilled by that old curtain. She said it would match perfectly with her floor."
A riot ensued after the young American left the shop. The assumed cause was a mad dash to purchase the T shirt the girl tried on but decided not to purchase. Several young men were injured in a fist fight and were taken to the nearest hospital. Lohan's publicist declined to comment on the incident.
HUGE CELEBRITY BASH TO BE HELD IN SÖRMJÖLE--ARE YOU INVITED?
A visiting American has declared plans to host a huge party in a Swedish cottage while her relatives are out of town. One of our reporters chanced to be minutely examining the interior of a Sörmjöle lilac bush and accidentally overheard an unidentified American visitor invite a Swedish youth to what she described as "dinner."
The lad to whom the invitation was extended yelled something like, "Erik, we're invited for dinner!" into a basement window. From among the stacked-up wood, our reporter happened to see a blond head emerge. The American then mentioned the guest list, which included three sisters and possibly a tree-planting friend. Our reporter, who chanced to have lilac branches stuck in his ears as a disgui--er, we mean because it's the latest fashion, haven't you read Vogue yet?--did not hear the rest of the guest list but his best conjecture is Julia Roberts, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and that hunky guy from The Princess Diaries, plus of course some famous bands.
The nearby larger town of Umeå hopes to profit financially from the expected descent of American celebrities.
A 20-year-old American girl who is visiting Sweden for the summer was seen shopping in a Salvation Army store, Myrona, outside town. At about one p.m. the girl, who uses the pseudonym 'Sara Young' but is probably Lindsay Lohan or another celebrity in disguise, was seen purchasing a sweater, a T shirt, a tablecloth, and a curtain. She was accompanied by an unidentified, slender Swedish-speaking young girl believed to be Lohan's bodyguard, Tougho Macallister, also in disguise. Macallister was seen purchasing several dozen cases of Slim-Fast the week before 'Sara Young' descended upon Sweden.
"She was so sweet," gushed a salesclerk. "She was absolutely thrilled by that old curtain. She said it would match perfectly with her floor."
A riot ensued after the young American left the shop. The assumed cause was a mad dash to purchase the T shirt the girl tried on but decided not to purchase. Several young men were injured in a fist fight and were taken to the nearest hospital. Lohan's publicist declined to comment on the incident.
HUGE CELEBRITY BASH TO BE HELD IN SÖRMJÖLE--ARE YOU INVITED?
A visiting American has declared plans to host a huge party in a Swedish cottage while her relatives are out of town. One of our reporters chanced to be minutely examining the interior of a Sörmjöle lilac bush and accidentally overheard an unidentified American visitor invite a Swedish youth to what she described as "dinner."
The lad to whom the invitation was extended yelled something like, "Erik, we're invited for dinner!" into a basement window. From among the stacked-up wood, our reporter happened to see a blond head emerge. The American then mentioned the guest list, which included three sisters and possibly a tree-planting friend. Our reporter, who chanced to have lilac branches stuck in his ears as a disgui--er, we mean because it's the latest fashion, haven't you read Vogue yet?--did not hear the rest of the guest list but his best conjecture is Julia Roberts, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and that hunky guy from The Princess Diaries, plus of course some famous bands.
The nearby larger town of Umeå hopes to profit financially from the expected descent of American celebrities.
posted by SaraY @ 3:14 PM
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