babysitting and contemplating

Currently I am babysitting. Why do they call it that anyway? The kids are not babies and I am certainly not sitting on them! But to get on with the post...

Nothing profoundly interesting has been happening. This is the second time I'm babysitting this weekend so I haven't had much of a chance to get out with friends, although my sis and I did go downtown this afternoon. And I did not almost hit anyone!! I got a teeny bit lost and burnt rubber trying to get out of the steep ramp out of the parking lot, but that's about it. Yay!! Maybe I'm not a blonde after all! I got a cute shirt and something for Amber's birthday...shhh...

Last night (after babysitting!) I was reading my Bible and thinking and I ended up staying up til like two writing this poem. Usually I am the one telling Jessica to go to bed since I get up earlier, but this time she was like "When are you gonna go to bed?"

Anyway, the reason for the poem was a) I have been reading waaaay to much poetry for school and it was on my brain, and b) I was thinking about something. I was going to make this post be about it. But instead I am going to post the poem, which is incomplete and its meaning may be a bit ambiguous... I was a bit unsure about posting poetry since you guys might think it's really strange. But then again, it doesn't really matter what you guys think since in the end I only have to answer to God! (Not to say that I don't care about all of y'all!)

So, here goes...

Sometimes I think I rule
My lofty name is writ
Across the wide blue sky
On elevated throne I sit.
Today my life is solely mine
My destiny I grasp!
The future, it looks fine
I pick, I point, I choose,
"Away with that; this shall be"
Others flounder and fall
Trip over endless decisions
But not me, queen of certainty!
Nothing will bring me down!
Not pomp nor circumstance!
Nothing will work! Nothing!
I am above the teeming masses
You see, I am a child of the king
No privelege shall be denied
I will hold the potent force
Borne of heartfelt pleas
Which directs life's course.
I of royalty surely will hold
That power, that crystal ball!
But something lies forgotten
My heart hears a whisper, a call,
A soft gentle reminder:
"In your veins runs humanity
Adoption made you royal.
Life's paths are governed by Me."
Knowledge floods my soul
My heart twists cold with fear.
No power have I! I know not
If curse or blessing is near.
Confusion reigns and I do not
The sky no longer shouts of me
My boastful crown tumbles.
Wicked child! Dare beg no mercy!
Lowly humbled servant! Your duty
You remembered no more.
Yopu deified your rotting flesh
But now you sink to the floor.
The clouds shall hail on you!
But once again the voice is heard:
"No, my child. Do not fear.
I am with you. I am your strength.
Trust in Me, I am always near.
Happenings may bring doubt
But My plans shall never fail.
I gave up my life for you
Into My hands was driven the nail.
Now all I ask is this:
In faith, let go, let fly,
All plans and worries, all schemes!
Ask not where nor when nor why,
For My plans are always the best."
My hands were clenched and tight
My heart beat fast and strong
Could I give up the power
That I now found to belong
To my king and only Him?
Dare I believe? Dare I trust?
I belive, I dare because now I know
His ways are best and they are just.
My future brings no shudder
Tomorrow holds no hidden dread
For all my days now rest
In Him who gently led
Me to the streams of living water
To streams of certainty
Because my life no longer is run by me!


Well, actually scratch that about it not being finished because I just finished it! Of course some fine tuning could definately be done, but I have spent enough time on this post, I think. Math homework beckons...shall the call be answered? No, it shall not. There is always tomorrow. And tomorrow night. Maybe my next poem will be on how to cure laziness...