Amazing Ross Cerbus Receives Free Breakfast, Studying Help

The amazing Ross Eugene Cerbus was spotted early this morning eating breakfast with two residents of Windsor Residence Halls, an all-girls dorm.

Cerbus said he did not know if his fellow Green Gablians would be jealous of his free breakfast of bacon, scrambled eggs, pancakes and a waffle with ice cream. "I didn't tell them," he said with a signature Cerbus smirk.

Cerbus and the two girls, identified as Kara Wegener, a sophomore, and Sara Young, a freshman, appeared to be going over some type of notes. Sources say Cerbus wore a confused look about half the time.

"I think you skipped that lecture..." Wegener was overheard saying.

"So why did you decide to help me?" Cerbus queried.

Young said the girls felt sorry for Cerbus.

"The poor thing would probably have flunked out of college by now if it weren't for us," she said with a sympathetic smile. "He honestly thinks watching a movie with Katie is studying."

Young retracted her statement when she remembered that her grade and Cerbus's are equal despite vastly different sleeping-in-desk-chairs and class-attending habits. She said Cerbus seemed excited about the possibility of getting a high C on the final and still getting an A in the class.

"Maybe I should start watching more movies..." she mused. "Or maybe it's one of those things only Amazing can get away with."